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Dreamer of DreamsEyes so green – deeper than the seas and with
Thoughts so far away; she was the dreamer of all dreams.
They told her she couldn’t succeed
Yet she tried and tried.
And eventually fell victim
To the abuse and lies.
Her smile held beauty that none could compare, but her
Confidence was shaken and she was struck with despair.
For the words that they had spoken
Got lost inside her head.
To the world she was alive,
But in her heart she was dead.
She found solace in a friend whose name we all know:
Crack cocaine became her lover and it became her foe.
Now she felt she had done
What they said she would do.
“Not only am I a failu
I feel nothing.The numbness is almost comforting
The feeling of absolutely nothing
No sadness, no anger
Just dead silence
I couldn't care less for his reply
I couldn't care less if he's gone for good
No nervousness, no fear
My life just goes on, the days drag by
My cuts don't get worse, nor do they improve
No worries, not anxious
I feel nothing.
When you demand it.When I was a little girl
my mother used to tell me
"you will not understand
the magnitude of what you've said
until you've said it."
And, as promised,
I have come to tell you: I've said it.
I have come to tell you
I felt the vibrato
coax my deepest bones:
an immortal vex, a cage
of everything alive beneath my flesh;
the things that will stay alive
after everything alive in my body
has turned to ash.
I have come to tell you
I felt the magnitude build
in my chest like the flapping
of birds, dead things
I assumed would never
breathe life, that I would never
understand what it is like
to choke on their tiny bones
while I trip over my words.
What Else Can You Say?There are two types of sadness.
One that you just ignore, and power through. You go out with your friends, you eat, you laugh. You celebrate the gift that is life. Happiness returns quickly.
The other... you let consume you. You lock yourself away, and turn off your phone. You cry, and don't stop. You denounce the turmoil that is life. Happiness returns slowly, even though you don't think it will.
Inevitably, for both, the 'metaphoric' sun will shine again, drying up the puddles - or sometimes floods - that have fallen from the storm known as "depression" and the hurricane known as "life".
That's kind of a ridiculous thing to say, isn't i
The Pixelated Mani am just a single pixel,
a tiny dot on the digital canvas of my life,
a speck of grey in a sea of color,
a whirlpool of life and frivolity,
yet the sea is far away,
i am but a single pixel on a blank canvas,
a single pixel can never see a bigger picture,
yet somehow i am okay this way,
a single solitary pixel,
and yet all the same i cling to hope,
i hope that one day i will be joined by other pixels,
so that we may form a beautiful picture,
a special little masterpiece
Your Skin to that BladeYour Skin to that Blade
You take your skin to that blade
That thin piece of sharp metal
To go beneath your skin.
That moment when you feel that rush
The rush of a red river
flowing down your wrist
The release of your demons.
Weather it's across the stream
or down the street
That first slice becomes an addiction
Addiction of ecstasy when you
bring your skin to that blade.
The next day people are asking you
"Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt in this weather"
with your reply of "I'm just cold."
When you fill your wrists with bracelets
or the “my cat scratched me” excuse.
You will say anything believable just so
lostI see them slip one by one, all my dreams
Try so hard to catch them, but they dance away it seems.
I don’t want my friends to be my only source of hope
I don’t want to hurt myself anymore just to cope.
This life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to be
I’m scared of a future I’m not sure I want to see.
Everyday I feel more confused, feel even more lost
I want to die but I’m not sure if its worth the cost~
Have you seen that girlHave you seen that girl
With the yellow clothing
Running around, making too much noise?
I’m afraid I haven’t
I’ve seen the girl in blue though
She was calm, yet seemed troubled
What’re you talking about
I’ve only seen the girl in black
Packed with danger, yet kept to herself
Ah, were you guys just talking about me?
They all turned
To find the girl
The color they each want to see
For she is nothing
That shows what you want to see
Revealing the hidden part inside
Stone Heartkneeling on rough ground,
the tears fall from my face,
collecting in a chalice beneath your feet,
feel the melodic rhythm of my heart in every drop,
and sate your thirsty lips upon the cool water,
drink your fill from the wellspring of my love,
but do not be surprised once the well runs dry,
and my heart becomes like stone,
and beats no more
PoetryWords of a silver tipped tongue
Rhymes of over emotional young.
Tales of unrequited loves
Symbols with crows and doves.
Ink of mournful tears
Mixed of adolescent fears.
Bars of a hateful cage
Crafted of blinding rage.
Memories of the glorious past
Times of joy that can't last.
Fantasies of dreams so sweet
Realities of tragic defeat.
WHAT WILL I LEAVEWHAT WILL I LEAVE
the fear of being
alone and afraid
after all this an
insecure man is made
will they leave me
alone before die
when I'm gone
will anyone cry
I start to think
what I would do
if you were gone
would I fade too
will they see a
dark ghost of me
a lone grave stone
what will they see
I always wear my
fear on my sleeve
when I finally die
what will I leave
UntitledIt is time to say goodbye
You cannot handle the distance between us
Though we meet and touch every single day
You sensed that I was distant half of the time
I don’t want you to know why
I don’t want you to understand
Do not think of me and
Do not say that you love me
I might just love you back
Strength...Strength..It's something we all have.
But Strength,is something we all have to earn,work hard for,and want.
Strength.We all have our strong points.And our weak points.
Strength.It's something that gets us through a tough day.
Strength.It gives us the right to be who we choose.
Strength.To fight every battle that comes our way.And we won't go down so easily.
Strength.Motivating the fallen and raise their hopes to fight again.
Strength.It's something that lays deep beneath our souls and hearts.We need to let it push to the outer core and let it shine.
Strength.It's our hopes,friends,family,and our way of life.
Strength.It gives you the urge to do whats right.
Strength.We all have it.Let it shine through the veil of darkness that shadows us constantly.
Strength.It's stronger than a blade.It keeps our minds sharp
Strength.It's the thing that lets us keep our heads up high.To show our superior love.Life.Soul
The Porcelain Shieldof porcelain so bloody,
chipped and battered,
rusted firm from eons past,
the blood streaks like tears down its eyes,
like magic in the mirror,
reveals the crystal tears it cries,
my mask it is so beaten,
from years of bitter lies,
it used to be so perfect,
but now it slowly dies,
the cracks they show so clearly,
displayed so all can see,
revealing beneath the surface,
a broken, lonely me
Because You Loved MeHi,
My name is--
I forgot that I don't have one.
You can't know me.
You don't know me....
At least that's what you told them....
You could never just admit it.
You would never tell them.
You should have just shouted it out,
Loud enough for the whole world to here you.
I love you...
And you know you loved me...
Cause we were together
We were a thing
I couldn't have just imagined it
We spent 4 months together
Cuddled in the back of your mom's car
Laughing at my jokes
Arms around each other
Lips locked together.....
But now you say that you don't know me??
Of my deepest secrets has been invested into your very soul
And every time you look at me...
You turn the other way and laugh
Because you know I'm a freak.
You know what's wrong with me!
You know everything!
But you still say that you don't know me...
But you know you do.
You know you loved me!
And I know that I loved you....
And I know that you know you loved me too
MisunderstoodStuck in today
feeling like there's no tomorrow
Lighting up this cancer stick
Burn away my sorrow
Without these little remedies
I swear I'd lose my sanity
I think what I need most
is somebody close to me
but I hide my feelings
under this mask
It's like I cant express them
without a flask
That's why I feel alone
even in a crowded room
with these bad habits
that I don't even condone
Sometimes it feels like
my heart is made of stone
I swear I love these girls
even when I say I don't
It's so sad to see
them become my enemies
they couldn't understand me
That's why I stay contained
within my thoughts
Within this mental pain
Dear My Closest FriendDear my closest friend
I'm writing because
I wanna press rewind
and take things back to how it was
I miss the time we shared
cause you took the time to see
when others just glared
We may have grown apart
but I swear I dont care
Every time I see your face
my heart beats like a snare
Pa rum pum pum pum
Got me sounding like the drummer boy
When it comes to your heart
I promise I will never toy
I just wanna be there for you
anytime you're feeling coy
Dear my closest friend
I remember when
We argued about nothing
over and over again
But thats behind us
We're better now
I dont wanna fuss
No more getting loud
Remember when we split
With all that he
Self-DestructionShouts from the fools
Silence from the wise
Bottom of the pool
Drowning in the lies
of a world full of flowers
Everyone is full of shit
People have the power
Leaders hold the wits
I've seen brighter days
I've known darker nights
Trying to find a way
But nothing left seems right
Blinded by my sight
Lost in my thoughts
Trying to build my might
For a battle thats been lost
I became my own enemy
My worst nightmare
I never found a friend in me
and no one seemed to fucking care
I put the razor down
I threw away the pills
I'm more than just a noun
No longer trapped by how i feel
On my road to self-destruction
Running from my own corruption
Worlds ApartWe're worlds apart
yet we're heart to heart
She sends a picture
I call it art
A thousand words
Girl thats absurd
All i need is three
Plus me and the third
I'm playing Sony
She says she's lonely
So every killcam
I text my tender rony
The space between us grows
The time zones have us froze
Long distance murder
I blame those fucking crows
We chose our paths
But we didnt do the math
Now we're years apart
Feeling time's wrath
I chose to go to war
You chose those college doors
When will we meet again
I don't know no more
Bottle of Nyquil
Popping off the seal
Take it to the head
Now it's time to chill
I know i'm wrong
But its been so long
Keep in Touch!
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More